i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
