weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
