Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
