Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
did you just send me my own nude
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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