You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Rumble strips road head = magical
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
