I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
