We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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