He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
