If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
