I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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