How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
