are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
