Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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