I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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