this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Randomize
