I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he had hair everywhere except his balls
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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