You're so nebulous sometimes
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
tell me about the fingering
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