do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
