okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
