I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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