Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
