drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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