I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
