ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Don't make out with my wife yet
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
