I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
