I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
