Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
