Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
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