The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
