We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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