I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
