she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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