Swine flu. Run for my life!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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