She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize