Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
