I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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