Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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