i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
