i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
