I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
