I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
