if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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