Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
