how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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