Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
