and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just found puke in my bra..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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