would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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