I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
