Are we in a gay sports bar?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
