There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Randomize
