he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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