I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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