It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
