I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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